One Bug, Two Bug
by NeitherSparky
Summary: A short story about how Tuck and Roll came to be part of P.T. Flea's Circus. Set before the movie.
1. Chapter One

**One Bug, Two Bug...**  
a _Bug's Life_ fanfic  
by C. "Sparky" Read

**_Chapter One_**

"What were you morons _doing_ out there?" wailed P.T. "You looked completely idiotic!"

Slim eyed P.T. evenly as he, Francis, and Heimlich stepped behind the curtain. "We were _trying_ to look idiotic. It is what we do."

The flea just shook his head in disgust. "Gypsy!" he shouted over his shoulder as the clowns retreated towards their dressing pinbox. "You and Manny get out there, now! We're losing the audience!"

In the stands, the paltry crowd of seven yawned and threw popcorn bits at one another.

"P.T.!" said Rosie urgently, running up to her ringmaster.

P.T. regarded the black widow with annoyance. "Where's that overacting mantis hiding?" he demanded. "I need both of them - "

"P.T.," repeated Rosie, flustered, "Manny can't...perform tonight."

The flea boggled, horrorstruck. "No!" he cried at last, putting his hands to the sides of his head as if to keep it from exploding. "He can't do that to me! We're dying as it is! What's the problem?"

Rosie shook her head sadly. "He can't find a prop," she explained.

"A prop?" roared the flea indignantly. "Can't he substitute? What exactly did he lose, for crying out loud?"

"Um...Gypsy?"

P.T. blinked. "How - no wait, never mind, I don't want to hear it. Okay, fine - you and Dim, out there, now!"

"But P.T.!" cried Rosie, "we've already _been_ out there tonight! We were the opening act!"

"Then get out there again!"

"But - "

"_Go!_"

Rosie went.

P.T. covered his face with his hands and all but wept. "...Disaster!" he moaned. "Not enough acts...Need to give the audience more - "

He stopped upon hearing the boos begin in the audience. Although he was afraid to look, he pushed the curtain aside. Out in the ring, Rosie was having a hard time getting Dim to perform. In fact, she was having a hard time getting Dim to move at all. She was behind the big beetle, putting all her weight against him, but he wouldn't budge. Apparently, Dim felt his duty was done for the night and would give no more. P.T. let the curtain fall back into place and lit a cigar. Things had to change. And before the next show.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

"All right, see, what I'm thinking is, the audience wants _danger_. They want _deathdefying_. They want bugs who are willing to put their very lives on the line in order to make this lousy circus a measly buck."

P.T.'s performers looked back at him as if he had gone insane. "Have you gone insane?" Francis went ahead and asked, for clarification.

The flea chomped on his cigar resolutely. "Maybe," he replied. "You want the long and short of it? Okay, here it is," he continued before anyone could answer. "This show is in _trouble_. We need another act, and we need it _now_. Now, either one of you clowns learns to breathe fire - " Francis, Slim and Heimlich balked - "or we find ourselves a new, daredevil act."

"But P.T.," interrupted Gypsy (who had been found locked in one of Manny's matchbox trunks), "won't we need to hire a talent scout?"

The flea waved his cigar dismissively at the moth. "No time, no money," he told her. "We gotta do this ourselves. Now get out there and find me an act." And with that he sprang out of sight to try once again to balance the circus budget. "...A _cheap_ act!" his voice drifted back to the assembly.

Rosie threw her hands in the air. "What does he expect?" she demanded. "That a new act will just fall out of the sky into our laps?"

Everyone paused a moment, waiting to see if that might actually happen. But it didn't.

"All right then," spoke Manny, standing up. "This may take some time. We may as well begin now."

"But _where?_" implored Slim. "_Where_ do we begin?"

"There?" suggested Dim, gesturing towards the marketplace with a foreleg.

"Sounds good to me," piped up Heimlich, who knew perfectly well there were numerous food vendors in the marketplace.

"Yeah," agreed Francis in disgust. "Let's get this show on the road before it goes belly-up."


	2. Chapter Two

**One Bug, Two Bug...**

a _Bug's Life_ fanfic  
by C. "Sparky" Read

_**Chapter Two**_

P.T. pored over the budget, wincing periodically. The last few performances had hurt - bad. There had been no repeat business whatsoever, and the bugs who had shown up at all didn't even buy many concessions, which normally constituted half or more of the circus' profit. "Lousy cheap - " he muttered to himself.

"Hey boss," called a voice outside the tentflap. P.T. glanced up tiredly. It was Blip, one of the fireflies who posed as spotlights in the show. "There's a couple-a guys out here - "

"Tell them the next show isn't until tomorrow night."

"I tried," said Blip, "but I don't think they speak any English. Besides, they wanna see _you_."

P.T. slumped over the paperwork before him. "If they don't speak English," he began, "then how do you know - "

"They got one-a our posters," explained the firefly. "They keep pointin' at your picture."

The flea glowered. "Oh for..." He regarded the hopeless budget, then finally swept it aside. What the heck. "All right, bring them over."

Blip disappeared from sight, and was momentarily replaced by a pair of nervous-looking pillbugs, one of which clutched a circus poster.

P.T. puffed on his cigar. "Well?" he said at last.

The pillbugs looked at one another, then the one on the right nudged the other forward. He held up the poster. "_Hu jikbi wrak?_" he said.

P.T. raised an eyeridge.

The pillbug on the right stepped forward. "_Caljoj votef_," he said insistently, pointing to the poster.

The flea stood up. "Look, I don't know what you yahoos want, but I've got a lot of work to do and - "

"_Opla!_" said the pillbug on the left suddenly to the other, who curled up with a _pop_. The pillbug on the left sprang nimbly to balance on the other one, and began travelling around the flea in rapid circles.

P.T., who was not expecting this, watched in surprise for several seconds, his cigar hanging from his bottom mandible. Finally, the pillbug hopped down and the other popped back open.

"_Ta-da!_" they crowed.

The flea slowly took the cigar from his mouth and regarded the pillbugs curiously. He rubbed his chin. He wasn't a great believer in Fate; therefore he was certain that these two were not the act he was just minutes earlier praying for. But, that wouldn't stop him from requesting another demonstration. "Wait here," he told the pillbugs, who shrugged at one another, and sprang out of the tent.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

"What do you think P.T. will say?"

"I'm too tired to care," Francis answered Rosie.

"Ja, me too," sighed Heimlich wearily. Although he had managed to 'sample' numerous tasty foods, he, like the others, had had no success in locating a new act for the flea.

"Time to sleep," complained Dim, trudging along wearily.

"I second that." Slim leaned on the beetle as he walked. "That was a pointless mission if I ever saw one."

"Agreed," said Manny. "P.T. will just have to accept that we will not be able to attain a new act at the drop of a hat."

As the group reached the tentflap, they stopped in wonder. "What's going on?" demanded Francis.

Inside the tent, Blip and the other firefly, Flash, were training their lights on a pair of pillbugs who swung from a makeshift trapeze. The one-spider music department, Ymri, was beating out a drumroll. As they watched, the two bugs on the trapeze executed a dismount, midair flip, and landing in perfect precision onto the spool in the center ring.

"Bravo! Bravo!" P.T. enthused around his cigar, applauding wildly. The circus bugs approached their boss uncertainly.

"P.T.?" asked Rosie. "What - "

"Where have you slackers _been?_" demanded the flea, whirling around. "You've missed the entire audition! I had to run everything by myself!"

"We've _been_ out trying to - " Francis began furiously but Slim silenced him efficiently with an elbow in the ladybug's side.

"Who _are_ they?" asked Gypsy.

P.T. waved for the pillbugs to approach. "Ladies and germs, say hello to our new daredevil tumbling act! Tookva and...this one is Roolna," he pointed to the pillbugs in turn. "But I've thought up stage names for them: Tuck and Roll! Clever, eh? Eh?" He got no response from the circus bugs so he continued: "I've got _big_ plans for these two: trapeze, flaming hoops and - ooh! I just had a vision! A cannon! Living cannonballs! They'll be a natural! Ymri!" he called, walking towards the wolf spider. "You seen any cannons for sale around here?"

The pillbugs huddled together and carefully watched the circus bugs, who stared back. Finally Rosie stepped forward.

"Hi," she smiled broadly, reaching for Tuck's hand. "I'm Rosie..." She withdrew her hand self-consciously as soon as she realized that the uneasy-looking pillbug wasn't going to shake it. "This is Dim. Um...welcome to P.T.'s Circus." There was an uncomfortable silence.

"My name is Slim," announced the walkingstick at last. "This is Francis and Heimlich. We're the clowns." And the trio struck a theatrical pose.

Tuck and Roll blinked at them. "_Klowns?_" Roll whispered to his brother uncertainly. Tuck shrugged.

"My name is Gypsy," said the moth. "And this is my husband - "

"Mantos the Magnificent," Manny introduced himself with a grand bow. "I do hope," he went on, "that you both find your stay with our illustrious travelling show agreeable."

After another awkward silence, Francis frowned. "Is it just me, or is there something wrong with these guys?" he hissed.

"Francis!" admonished Rosie.

"Oh, hey!" shouted P.T. from where he was speaking to the fireflies. "They don't speak any English. They're foreign or something. Now, what I want you two to do is..." His voice lowered as he returned to his conference.

Francis rolled his eyes. "Oh that's great," he complained.

"Francis," repeated Rosie, and she flashed the pillbugs something she hoped was a convincing-looking smile.

Gypsy frowned. "The poor things look very unhappy," she remarked in a whisper, forgetting that the pillbugs couldn't understand her.

Manny frowned. "Why, they are nothing but skin and exoskeleton!" he added huffily. "And here P.T.'s been forcing them to perform when they obviously need food and rest."

Rosie tsked. "Probably just arrived in this country and haven't been able to get anything to eat."

"Ve cannot let them starf!" cried a vexed Heimlich.

"Certainly not," agreed Slim. He waved a hand at the pillbugs, beckoning them to follow him. "Come on," he said. "I guess you're officially part of the family now."

"Yeah, lucky you," Francis grunted.


	3. Chapter Three

**One Bug, Two Bug...**

a _Bug's Life_ fanfic  
by C. "Sparky" Read

_**Chapter Three**_

Despite the short prep time and formidable language barrier, P.T.'s troupe managed to pull off a marginally successful show the following night. Tuck and Roll performed with precision on the spiderweb trapeze and trampoline Rosie had spun, managing to earn a few 'Ooh's and 'Aah's from the stoic-looking, meagre crowd. There had even been scattered applause. P.T. was ecstatic.

"Geniuses!" cried the flea, pumping the expressionless pillbugs' twelve hands up and down in elation. "Did you see them? Say goodbye to debt! Say so long to financial ruin!"

The other bugs smiled and nodded. The pillbugs' talents were certainly impressive, but Tuck and Roll's woodenness and general silence was a bit unnerving. However, all agreed that they were better than a big, bad-tempered bug - which, when P.T. said 'daredevil act,' was what they were expecting to end up with.

They took Tuck and Roll to a diner-slash-pub a bit later on to eat and show the brothers a slice of American life.

"It's like they've never seen a clown before," remarked Slim after once again failing to make either of the pillbugs do anything other than regard him curiously by going through a few of his routine tricks.

"Forget it, Slim," Francis told his friend. "I must have done a million pratfalls for them this morning. They're like stone."

"They must have had a very hard life." Gypsy lifted her droplet of water and watched Tuck and Roll twist in their seats, trying to take in their strange surroundings with wonder. "Give them some time."

"Heimlich, have you been able to communicate with them at _all?_" Rosie asked the caterpillar.

"No," said Heimlich sadly, munching on an appetizer leaf. "Dere is too much of a difference. Dey are Hungarian. Strange dialect, too."

"Well, we shall have to cope," said Manny simply, "until they learn to utilize _our_ language."

Francis sputtered. "But tonight was murder!" he complained. "And good luck to P.T. trying to explain that cannon idea. They've probably never even seen one before."

"They should smile," announced Dim firmly.

"Dim's right," agreed Rosie. "It's more important that they at least be happy. Then we can worry about communicating."

The food arrived. The waitress dropped a check on the table and sauntered off.

The bugs picked at their dinner, no one apparently really hungry. Even Heimlich hesitated, glancing down at Tuck and Roll, who were to his immediate right. They were despondently poking at their food. He looked down at his plate, heaped high with Today's Special. He considered. Then he leaned to his left, where Slim sat.

"Slim," he said, "I am going to do something I've neffer done before." Then, before the walkingstick could ask what he meant, Heimlich picked up his plate and hurled it across the table into Manny's face.

All the other bugs jumped in surprise, then stared at Manny in shock as the plate slowly slid down and dropped to the floor, leaving the dignified mantis' face absolutely covered in gobs of food. The stares turned to Heimlich, who gripped the edge of the table as he glanced apologetically around at everyone. Then he looked anxiously down at Tuck and Roll.

The pillbugs were as stunned as everyone else; they gaped at the caterpillar, then at the frozen mantis. Food dripped off of Manny's face and onto the table in an almost rhythmic fashion.

Then Roll started to snicker. Tuck glared at him; Roll poked him and, gesturing towards Manny, remarked: "_Hre vlela_." Tuck looked back at the mantis and, after blinking a couple of times, doubled over in hysterics. Roll soon joined him.

"They've flipped out," whispered Francis.

But then Rosie burst out laughing, and soon everyone else was laughing too - with the exception of the waitress, who looked disgusted. The circus bugs were fully prepared to launch into a full-fledged food fight but were hastily escorted off of the premises by the diner's offended proprietor. They headed back to the tent instead.

"Okay, so they do have emotions," Francis had to admit to the others as they walked along. Manny wiped his face off with a scrap of newsprint Gypsy had found for him. Behind them, Tuck and Roll followed, still tittering. "Even if they do have sick senses of humor," added the ladybug.

"Just be glad," interjected Slim, "that they do not have short tempers."

Francis, who knew that remark was meant for him, remained silent.

"Yes," agreed Gypsy, "at least they are not fighting."

"Um," said Rosie. "...Don't turn around."

Of course, everyone did. Behind them, Tuck and Roll's mirth had turned into an unintelligible squabble over nothing apparent.

"It looks like it might become rather noisy around here," remarked Manny.

"Yeah," said Francis. "Thanks Heimlich."

"Thanks Heimlich," parroted the others.

Heimlich shrugged. "...You're velcome?"

* * *

_This story is ©1999 Cynthia "Sparky" Read._


End file.
